mothering in the midst of a pandemic is to me as Saidiya Hartman said elsewhere attached to waywardness it is ‘a queer resource of black survival. It is a beautiful experiment in how-to-live’ (Wayward Lives, Beautiful Experiments, Saidiya Hartman). This performance - assemblage of bodies in motion called for collective authorships. But not as in melissandre varin and Eole but as melissandre for/with Eole. The collaboration, the co-living experience pushed my limited understanding of what it meant or felt like to work from home or stay at home into an inquiry of : how to be from/at home.

of flour and Earth ? explores the queer use of domestic materials as performative tools to facilitate counter-hegemonic ways to hold conversations touching upon race, gender, and collective care with a little one. of flour and Earth 1/3 interrogates white maintenance arts in relation to unregulated and fluid Black intimacy and parenting.

Sticky whiteness, sticky flour that never really clears out.

In silence this piece echoes the labour of Black beings in my lineage holding space to think critically about childcare, domestic work, and activism. Behind closed doors - one of the multiple battlegrounds in which decolonising work ought to be re-invested with love and multi-textured feelings.

i argue that actively looking for ways to hold difficult intergenerational conversations at home and beyond is an essential work right now. With this account of home working with a baby, i am attempting to shift, to re-member, and redirect artistic and academic activism to my immediate communities as an expansive and healing gesture towards archiving and imagining beyond white scripts. And as i open up space to imagine i take up space to be - in space.

‘It is not easy to name our pain, to theorize from that location.’ (bell hooks : Teaching to transgress)